How To Level Up In Love

Let’s talk about love levels and connecting with people who are on your same love level. We all have different lived experiences that impact our capacity to experience love. But with each lived experience, we can level up. It’s up to us to do the work. There are some behaviors that can slow us down though. One is, you can’t achieve yourself in to being loveable. Yeah, I said it. Too many people take the approach of if I achieve x, y and z, then I’ll win others’ love and approval. I’m here to tell you that approach will only lead to disappointment. Love comes from accepting yourself, flaws and all, and not from performing or pretending to be something. You may be able to win others’ approval and admiration through this approach but never their love. This is because achievement is conditional. If you stop achieving, then the approval and admiration will end.

Let’s talk about something else when it comes to love levels. Some of you may fear being loved so you try to receive love through achievement because it feels safer and predictable. But Love requires us to be vulnerable and to face the unknown and uncertainty, which can feel really scary. But love doesn’t have to be scary, if we start with loving ourselves.

Before attempting to experience love with another, we must focus inward. The path to love requires that we make the time to get to know ourselves, flaws and all. When we give kindness, gentleness, forgiveness to ourselves, we experience love on a level that no one else can provide. Love begins and ends with us. You can’t receive (or give) what you are not already giving to yourself. You may start a relationship or friendship with an amazing person, but you’ll end up sabotaging it because you’re not already giving love to yourself and are not on a love level to receive love. And for the record, you cannot love another person into loving themselves or you. It doesn’t work that way. Again, we can only meet others as far as we’ve met ourselves. And we can only love others, as much as we love ourselves. With that being said, trying to love people who are not on the same love level as you will be an uphill battle. Yeah, I said it. This is because you will only end up hurting yourself when you do that. You’ll end up feeling frustrated, disappointed, rejected and may even experience a hit to your self-esteem when you attempt to love someone who is not on the same self-love level as you. So, instead focus on loving yourself, and spend time with people who are on your love level.

In closing, focus on loving yourself and then you’ll never be without love because you are receiving love from yourself and on a love level to receive love from others.

Image by Sandra Beatrice Molnar/Unsplash