Have you found yourself reflecting on the past lately? I think it’s safe to say that most of us have periods in our lives when we think about the past more than other times. Sometimes reflecting on the past can be helpful because it gives us the opportunity to acknowledge how much we’ve grown over the years. Other times, reflecting on the past can bring up old painful feelings which can be discouraging if we thought we had “gotten over” whatever (or whoever) we’re thinking about.
I think it’s important to reflect on the past for a few reasons. The first being that we can honor and reflect on where we’ve been (relationships, career, etc.) and help us to map out the path to the future we’d like to have. The second being that reflecting on the past gives us the opportunity to decide what has and what hasn’t been helpful in our lives, and to learn and grow from past mistakes we may have made. I believe it’s difficult to choose to do things differently in the present and future if we haven’t taken the time to reflect and grow from past decisions we made that didn’t have the result we wanted. Another reason reflecting on the past can be a good thing, is that we can take pride in our accomplishments, and again, how much we’ve grown. Life happens quickly, and we often get distracted by our daily responsibilities that we can forget to acknowledge the amazing person we’ve become because of the positive and not so positive adversities we’ve faced in our lifetime.
Like I mentioned, reflecting on the past can also bring up not so good memories that cause us to feel a sense of pain, regret, grief or anger. It’s helpful to get support when those memories resurface. Often with the support of others, sharing our memories about the situation(s) that caused the pain can be healing. Also, I think it’s important to remember that although painful memories don’t feel good, they also signal to us that there are parts of ourselves that still need to be healed so that we can move on.
Reflecting on the past doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Remember, it gives you the opportunity to take pride and joy in how your life has changed, helps with decision making during life transitions, and reminds us that pain can be a sign that a part of us has some unresolved stuff that needs some tender loving care so that we can heal and feel better.
Photo By Mohammad Gh
Christina is a Psychotherapist in private practice in Oakland California.