 Well, it’s that time of year again… Mercury Retrograde. The interest in Mercury Retrograde and astrology has had a resurgence over the past decade. It’s not uncommon to hear someone say, is mercury in retrograde? I personally think Mercury Retrograde gets a bad rap because it’s misunderstood. Mercury Retrograde doesn’t pop up to make our lives hell. In fact, Mercury Retrograde happens 3 to 4 times every single year(and as a side note, other planets retrograde throughout the year too) for approximately 3 weeks(minus the shadow phases). So, it’s not some unusual thing that happens out of the blue. Mercury Retrograde is a consistent and natural part of life.
Since it is a part of life, it’s helpful to think of it like we do seasons. It’ll come, things will shift and change, and then a new season will begin. Mercury Retrograde provides us with the opportunity to rethink our current life trajectory. It’s a brief time for us to take a step back and reflect on if we would like to adjust and/or recommit to our current goals, and to begin to release what no longer makes us happy. We often get caught up in the grind of our everyday responsibilities that we don’t take a break to really think about our lives and if we are happy with the direction we are going. Again, Mercury Retrograde provides us with the opportunity to do just that. I find it helpful during Mercury Retrograde season to remember words that start with R: reflect, rest, redo, realign, retry, recommit, and release. The planet Mercury is connected to communication, so yes, it is true that communication and technology can be impacted during this season. When things go awry, it’s often because we need to slow down and possibly rethink our approach. Mercury Retrograde provides us with the opportunity to slow down when miscommunications happen, and when technology breaks down. We can use these moments to take responsibility, adjust how we communicate with others, and adjust any negative self-talk we may have towards ourselves. These moments also provide us with the opportunity to use our coping skills (like journaling, going for a walk or spending time outdoors, taking more naps, listening to music or a meditation, spending in-person time with our loved ones), so that we can handle this brief season and its surprises. So, please don’t be anxious when Mercury Retrograde season happens. Try to look at it as the universe giving you the opportunity to take some time to reflect on what truly makes you happy and the space to let go of what doesn’t. Image By: Greg Rakozy/Unsplash
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 Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if your stagnation or lack of motivation is related to unprocessed grief in disguise? I know we often connect grief to feeling sad, but grief can be more than just sadness. When we feel grief, it can impact how we see the world and ourselves. It can be hard to find a reason to go on because the pain is emotionally and physically debilitating. We can question if we or life will ever feel “normal” again. We can also question our strength and resiliency. It doesn’t help that we live in a society where we are expected to show up as our best versions 24/7. We can feel judged or be judged if we don’t constantly show up as happy or productive in our personal and professional lives. This can cause us to try and push through our grief so that we don’t feel the pain of the loss we experienced. But it’s unrealistic to operate at this level every single minute of every single day. At some point, trying to push through the grief will not work. Household duties will take a dip, it will be hard to concentrate at home and work, we’ll avoid others, and our sleep and eating will get bad. All these signs highlight the fact that we cannot outrun the pain we feel. We can no longer ignore the fact that we lost someone or something that was important to us. We are finally forced to acknowledge griefs ever present presence.
Healing from grief is possible. Here are a few helpful steps for doing grief healing work. Find a safe space where you can sit and feel the feelings. Taking a bath, sitting in the park or outside, or in the comfort of your bed are all good places to sit and remember who or what you’re grieving. If you want more structure during this time, you can add writing down three things you miss about the individual or thing you’re grieving. You can also put on a song and sit in your safe space for as long as the song plays and then get back to whatever responsibilities demand your attention. Another important step is to ensure that you’re getting enough rest, eating a nutritious diet, and staying hydrated. Remember there is a mind body connection; if the body feels crappy the mind will follow and vice versa. It can also be helpful to talk to a trusted person. Talking about our pain is cathartic and can be healing and is a good reminder that we are not alone. There’s a quote, grief is love with no place to go. You can try writing a letter to the individual or thing you’re grieving to feel connected to them. Finally, my personal favorite steps for grief healing work are looking at old pictures/videos while listening to music that reminds me of who (and at times what) I lost. These two steps together tend to bring up additional happy memories which can help me to feel the love shared between me and my loved one, and helps to facilitate a really good and healing cry. And lastly, remember that grief is not linear. There may be days where it feels less intense, and other days where it feels immobilizing. Both are okay and normal. Honor where you are on any given day and take as much time as you need. Picture Courtesy of Ephraim Mayrena/Unsplash  Dear Reader,
 It may come as a surprise but there is a connection between psychology and the law of attraction. When we feel better about ourselves, we attract good things into our lives. When we feel bad about ourselves and about how our lives are going, it is difficult to attract the things that we want. We can fall into a trap of self-fulfilling prophecies. If we expect bad things to happen and we feel bad about ourselves, then we will energetically attract those bad things. On the flip side, if we feel good about ourselves and our lives, then positive things come to us. I know it can be hard to accept full and complete responsibility for all that we have and experience in our adult lives, but it really is up to us to create the life we want to live and experience. And that all starts with how we feel and how we feel about ourselves.
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AuthorChristina is a Psychotherapist in private practice. She supports residents in both Kansas and California. Archives
April 2024
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