Well All, it’s that time of year of again where we are asked to think about all of the people, things and situations that we’re are grateful for. It’s great to give thanks on Thanksgiving but it’s even better to reflect and give thanks on a daily or weekly basis. Ask yourself these two questions: “when was the last time I stopped and reflected on how great my life is?” and “what makes my life so great?” The second question is something we should ask ourselves on a regular basis so that we can remain aware of all that we have to be grateful for. Developing a routine of reflecting on what we’re grateful for is a great way to help ourselves to feel more joy, peace, and less sadness and anger. One easy way to develop this habit is using a gratitude journal and keeping it on the nightstand next to your bed or on your work desk. Keeping it near your bed or on your work desk will help you to remember to stop, reflect and write in it every day. It's good to remember that taking the time to acknowledge what makes our live so great, the better able we'll be to deal with all of the not so pleasant things that happen in our daily lives because we'll know that at the end of the day, we have lots to be thankful for and that life isn’t as bad as it may seem.
Photo by Gabrielle Cole
Sometimes we can get attached to people and situations that aren’t the best for us and it can feel hard to walk away or leave. Along with feeling attached, we can become addicted to the drama we experience with the person or situation. Feeling stuck can also cause us to not to walk away even though we know in our heart that we need to go. Worrying about how others opinions can also cause us to stay and to feel stuck. Whatever the reason, it’s good to weigh the cost on our health when we stay in situations that makes us unhappy or unhealthy.
If you’re feeling like you want to walk away from something or someone but aren’t sure if you should, it can be helpful to ask yourself these questions:
How long have I been wanting to walk away?
Am I consistently unhappy or just unhappy in this moment?
Do I see myself in the same place 5-10 years from now?
Is it worth staying?
What am I worried will happen if I stay? And what am I worried will happen if I leave?
Who in my life can help me when I decided to leave?
Change can be scary but sometimes walking away from someone or thing that makes us unhappy is the best thing we can do for our self-esteem, mental health and even physical health. Remember, when we walk away from the people, things and situations that make us unhappy, we put ourselves in the position to live a happier and healthier life.
Photo by Mantas Hesthaven
Christina is a Psychotherapist in private practice in Oakland California.