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Change one thing at a time

5/14/2018

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  Let’s face it. Change is hard. We are comfortable with the familiar and it can be scary to think of how life will be different if we make a change. We can get stuck in a weird limbo space and question “should I do it or not?” Sometimes we’re in limbo for days or weeks but more often months or years. There can be many reasons as to why we stay in this place of limbo when we know we need to make a change.
  I believe what can and often happens is that we think we must make a huge change versus making smaller changes that eventually equal a large change. During the many times that I knew I had to make a big change, it seemed too overwhelming, so I did nothing and became bitter towards the fact that I needed to make a change. At some point, I figured out that it’s important to break things down into smaller steps. I adopted the manta “One thing at a time. One step at a time”. I also made the commitment to do one thing per day or one thing per week until I created the change that needed to happen.
  Some of you may be thinking “I’m scared”. To be afraid of change is natural but I challenge you to ask yourself, is your fear of change because you’re afraid to fail? Are you also afraid others will judge you if you fail? To fear failure or to not want to be judged by others is natural. Let’s acknowledge something else while we’re thinking about things that may be stopping us from changing. We can be afraid that the change we make may require us to do something that we’re not too excited about. For example, giving up chocolate and eating a healthier diet or waking up early to exercise. It's helpful to think about how the change will benefit you in the long run. Think about how the change will make you a better friend, parent or partner. You can also reflect on how the change may make you feel less stressed and therefore be more present when you spend time with loved ones. There may be other benefits that you can reflect on such as how the change may prolong your life and you’ll have more time with your loved ones, or perhaps the change will result in you working at a place that makes you feel happier and fairly compensates you.
  Change although scary is possible. The first step is usually the hardest step but breaking your goal down into small action steps can help you to create change. It takes time to see a big change, but you will eventually see it. Remember one thing at a time and one step at a time, and you’ll achieve your goal. 

1 Comment
Pete Cross link
8/29/2018 05:35:07 am

“Change one thing at a time”- I think this is the life-changing magic. As human beings, our brainboxes are not cabled to handle multiple engagements. In this demanding planet of proceed, proceed, and proceed, what we have unrecalled, above all, are the ceasing points, deal lines, and barriers. Better we should shut out our disturbances, guard our each and every moment of life, renew our powers of comprehension, and commit to one task so that we can enjoy our life by accomplishing the best in each undertaking.

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    Christina is a Psychotherapist in private practice in Wichita, Kansas.

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